Diary of the Forgotten Soul...

[Anadare MacAray]

Diary of the Forgotten Soul...

...A Slaves Tale

I believe I can see the future
Cause I repeat the same routine
I think I used to have a purpose
But then again
That might have been a dream
I think I used to have a voice
Now I never make a sound
I just do what I've been told
I really don't want them to come around.

Nothing has changed for the longest of times, for 73 years I have walked the earth of this god forsaken hell and for the last 65 of those years nothing has been my own. No even my life. Even the clothes I wear on my back are not even mine should some one see fit to change them. The very air I breath and the blood in my veins are not even my own. They all belong to thee men I am duty bound to call master's and the people that control my every action. It's my duty to follow every order and blah blah blah.

There is little point of doing every single thing one is told in this life because if you think that by following the rules you might save your skin for another day? Nope ain't gonna happen mate. The second your masters want you dead or want you in pain? Bingo. Your there. That brings me nicely to my first two lessons if any one ever gets the chance to read this piece of literature I'm scribbling. Not that I can write of course... Ahem... I recommend you read these... Yes it may make you want to go and kill your self but guess what? Its that or follow these.. if you don't you'll likely end up dead anyway. I decided to write these down as I kept forgetting what number I was on... Plus... it took me like 15 years to steal this book and pen so I shall bloody well write something!

Lesson the First – The guy in Control is always right, even when he is really... really wrong.

Lesson the Second – If some one wants to hurt you they will. No matter how amazing you do what you are told. If they want it to be wrong.. it will be.

Feel like throwing yourself out of the window yet? Yeah you'll get over that soon enough and learn to survive. Survive is all you can do in this life, you laughing if you think you can ever live in it. Slaves either go mad and are put down or end up broken in the eyes of the Masters.

I can feel their eyes are watching
In case I lose myself again
Sometimes I think I'm happy here
Sometimes, yet I still pretend
I can't remember how this got started
But I can tell you exactly how it will end

I'm probably considered mad but I don't fall into that category and that's probably the only reason I'm still kicking around this life.

Lesson the Third – Abilities. Vamps have them and they will god damned use them on you when ever they please. Learn them! If they catch you by surprise EVER it will turn it into a game for them.

Now, if your as devilishly intelligent as myself... although all of my Masters think I am thick as that is what I wanted them to think... you can learn people abilities. This is very handy in stopping them from full disabling you. If the seriously hurt you, you don't get a work reprieve and are expected to continue of as if the punishment had never happened so you so-ho want to avoid this!

Lesson the Fourth – Don't talk back, don't argue. Just Agree.

Okay... now I don't really do this that often but even now and then I will consent to this rule if it is for the better interest of my own well being. Not long now I have to start training a new little newbie before I believe I am being shipped off to a new house. Dumb and Dumber finally found a reason to get rid of me. Change is not something I'm too good with and even I see the merit of this rule – even though it sucks. Usually I enjoy mouthing off... But don't do that until you know you can handle the consequences! Because there WILL be some. Not might, Will.

Now, There is a Newbie I'm going to teach the ropes to, then I'm going to be shipped of to unknown lands....

I'm writing on a little piece of paper
I'm hoping someday you might find
Well I'll hide it behind something
They won't look behind
I'm still inside here
A little bit comes bleeding through
I wish this could have been any other way
But I just don't know, I don't know what else I can do