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Post by Rhoan MacAray on Jan 9, 2010 17:28:19 GMT -1
Madness in a Nightmare
All my life I've been searching for something
something never comes never leads to nothing
nothing satisfies but I'm getting close
closer to the prize at the end of the rope
I could start in a similar way to interview with a vampire... as that isn't far off to what this is... but What I wouldn't give for one simple thing that guy had been given. A choice. A choice to this life. Never to be true though, choice was not something I've ever really had and since meeting the MacAray's the worse things had been since. Delightful.
I'd accept it all willingly in the nightmares would go away.
All night long I dream of the day
when it comes around and it's taken away
leaves me with the feeling that I feel the most
feel it come to life when I see your ghost
The nightmares where still there. Things where seemingly a little better now, Dove eases a lot of the pain of which I have to suffer through day in day out. But the nightmares remain. There are not exactly many documented accounts of vampires suffering from nightmares or panic attacks and as such... no one knows what they can do for me. Worse of all. I can't even really tell any one about it
That would probably help you know... I guess that was why Nathaniel had suggested this too me, writting a journal thing. At the moment he is giving only the barest of details to Dove about my past, part of me wants to tell her everything. She knows a little thanks to the out burst from the dungeons...
Things have been worse since then.
Calm down don't you resist
you've such a delicate wrist
and if I give it a twist
something to hold when I lose my grip
will I find something in there
to give me just what I need
another reason to bleed
one by one hidden up my sleeve
Since then everything is back, all the memories that I had repressed from that time... waking up surrounded by dead bodies was something that flashed through his mind every single night. It was a personal madness being created in my mind... The nightmares where always the same.
...Panic, I slammed myself into that corner multiple times but not really feeling anything from the action, my mind had been working to fast and was forcing me to register the bodies in front of me. The burn in my throat was slowly driving me mad, caused by the screaming hunger. Something which made no sense to me at all. The utter lack of sense of the situation was overwhelming I practically screamed for 3 hours straight and no one even came to check on me.
I still wake up screaming from time to time...
The wall had been dented and was crumbling from where I had thrown myself so many times before I'd curled up into a foetal position as far into the corner as I could possible manage. I remember wondering where was the pain... I had to open my eyes again, in the few meagre seconds earlier I had seen death and bars but he didn't know if I could trust that first thought.
Don't let it go to waste, I love it but I hate the taste
weight keep pinning me down
will I find a believer
another one who believes
another one to deceive
over and over down on my knees
if I get any closer
...surrounded by bodies, dried up and seemingly clawing to get out of the cage I was in. Each of them seemingly died in agony, alone in this hell I had been dropped into. It was obvious that they each had fangs and each where coated in a bronze substance that he knew was long dead and dried blood...
Blood was in every dream...
Dove is a single bright spark in the darkness that is left of the mind... hopefully she will help clear up some of the dank mess...
and if you open up wide
and if you let me inside
on and on I've got nothing to hide
then I'm done done on to the next one |
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